My Struggle With Perfectionism

I struggle hard with perfectionism (I think a lot of us do).

My therapist (bless) has not only continually pointed this issue out for me, but has been trying to help me step away from it.

A byproduct of my personality, life, and the world I we in - I've been struggling with perfectionism since- always? Lol - a long time, friends.

I strive so hard to do everything perfectly that I lose the joy in EVERYTHING. It's really not an ideal way to live.

Thankfully therapy has really helped me move toward stepping away from this issue. Or at least, I now recognize when it's hindering my progress.

Perfection Is an Illusion

We as humans are quite literally imperfect.

And what have we learned about life since childhood?

Nothing is perfect!

Say it with me now! (looking at you in the back avoiding this part of the lecture): Nothing is Perfect.

For some reason though, we (or me) accepted this truth with a lot less resistance at age 8 vs. 27. So what changed?

Likely society, societal pressure, social media, expectation put upon us (by ourselves and others), competition, & comparison. The list could go on and on. I think perfectionism and socialization have a deep tie - but this is not a sociology lecture so I digress.

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CUE: Perfectionism & DA BLOG

Yup. This blog. The one you're reading now my friends.

In the last year, I've learned A LOT about how to do this blogging thing the "right way". AKA - I've invested in several courses and essentially overloaded myself with the ins/outs/ politics of blogging to attempt to be found online - which is how to make a living doing this. I would be lying if that was not one of the goals I have with this blog.

Needless to say, there is a lot of red tape to learn. Blogging has a LOT of behind the scenes work that goes into it. Google it if your curious, a lot of bloggers have written posts about this topic and just how special it is that we give recipes away from free.

I'll save you the list, but now that I know everything I need to do, trying to do it all in every post has utterly killed the joy of blogging. For instance, I wrote this Burst Cherry Tomato, Shroom, & Burrata Pasta recipe at the beginning of summer, and just posted it this week - as a direct result of perfectionistic standards.

I find myself saying: I won't share things until I've learned how to properly do them. Then once I've learned the "right" way, since I cant do it perfectly, I won't share what I've accomplished.

Maybe You Can Relate?

All of this has made me feel like I've lost my authentic voice. It has also made me feel as though I will never be found on the internet unless I do the 75 things a post needs to have in order to be optimized.

Trying to do all "the things" kills the joy of blogging for me, and takes away from cooking - my true love.

So, I've decided to just do the minimum needed, and slowly work toward doing "all the things". I have a hunch it'll be much easier to digest this way. Less overwhelming. Like adding 5 more pounds of weight at the gym by-weekly, but blog style.

In this pursuit I will try to not worry so much about the keywords, pictures, paragraphs, pinterest(s), and typing being perfect. Instead I will share and move on with my life and passion.

Because here is the thing: by never sharing due to imperfection, you will never improve or get anywhere.

I must remind myself of this on the daily. Everyone starts at the bottom, and you must move past that uncomfortable feeling of not being perfect to become the best you can be overtime.

Which brings me to my next question?

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Are You Struggling with Perfectionism?

HAHA SAME.

Lets be friends. And while we are at it, lets encourage those around us to stop pointing out simple imperfections, and to instead lift one another up.

Especially those creatives out there. The ones continually putting things out for the world to see and criticize.

As with anything art related (cooking is art, IMO) you typically don't recreate the wheel in an over saturated world. But, we are all unique, and so is everything each of us creates, and I must remind myself (and YOU) of that.

If you create art, or feel like another blue dot amongst a sea of blue dots in this world, you are not alone.

I think our social nature as humans in the 2000's has really amplified this competition and comparison at the intersection of creativity. This is why I think the true key to success with a creative pursuit is to just say F*CK it all and do it the way you want. If of course, you struggle with conforming to the mainstream which I do.

Let us step off this perfectionistic ledge and into the waters of individuality and expression. I have a feeling, the temperature will be justttt right 🙂

XO
Em